thought: numbness

I was just digging around my old stuff, I bothered not to post--but this time I'll give it a shot. Besides, it's last year's stuff anyways ;P

(It's not quite poetry or anything. I have no intentions to write such. It is more so odd conversations of the blunt honest mind.)

Written October 23, 2008

I think I am numb.
Not physically, but mentally.
Small insignificant things do not move me, and sadly, nor do the important.
Frightening moments, unpaid, accumulating library fines, and failing grades.
All whisk by. Only to make me regret not worrying and taking action later on.

Perhaps, I am just tired.
No, this time not mentally.
I still feel that I am able to think... maybe too deeply.
I am tired, literally in the sense that my body yearns for the quiet, soothing calm of sleep.
Over the years, I have tested my limits. Seeing some in sight, I am wary of them and afraid of the deafening effort needed to pull through. Sometimes, I wish I could sleep and the world would stop.
Time would cease for the increment of rest. Like a long blink of the eye, in slow motion.
Once awoken, life would resume as usual; seemingly restless and disparate, but intriguing.

There exists one way out.
The only method to liberate myself from this fatigue and numbness is simply to be happy.
Try and maybe one may succeed. Emotions will fill my being.
I am active. I am free.
The key is to be HAPPY.

-lilxerica